Ending Intimate Partner Violence for V-Day

This year and every year in February, we celebrate V-Day! Find out what that means in this salon.

There are tons of reasons not to celebrate Valentine’s Day, as many reasons as there are to celebrate it. In this episode Domina Lucretia Lepida tells us what she does instead, despite it’s roots in ancient Roman custom. But more than that! We’re taking V-Day to the next level and declaring that V-Day is for everyone, because everyone deserves to live in safety and peace. Find out why some people think V-Day is just for women, but we absolutely disagree.


Show Notes

Learn more about the origins of V-Day, and it’s goal to end violence against women and girls. And don’t forget to check out The Vagina Monologues.

CDC Cause of Death Statistics

The Duluth Model is the current method for understanding domestic violence being taught. It is wonderful for explaining intimate relationship violence, but it’s not a good model for policing it. One strength it has is the Power and Control Wheel, which visually displays tactics abusers use to maintain power and control over their victims. Normally these are done with female as victim pronouns  but I hope we can move to gender neutral pronouns for this powerful tool, as the one I’ve found to link you to.

Prevalence and Characteristics of Sexual Violence, Stalking, and Intimate Partner Violence Victimization — National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, United States, 2011

Intimate Partner Homicide and Corollary Victims in 16 States: National Violent Death Reporting System, 2003–2009

International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers, December 17th is the source of my list of sex workers who died or were found to have been murdered in 2018. There are so many more name from all around the world I couldn’t include all of them in the podcast. If you download the spreadsheet you can read the full list and linked articles about the vibrant, wonderful people whose lives ended before their time.

Killer in the Family presented by criminal analyst Laura Richards. Watch it on Netflix.

Real Crime Profile Podcast, one of my favorites.

The Washington Post – Domestic Slayings: Brutal and Forseeable

If you or someone you know is at risk of violence, download and complete the Domestic Abuse, Stalking, and Honor Based Violence Risk Assessment Checklist. See if your friend will complete it with you, or fill it out based on the things they’ve shared and show them the results. The worst you’ll discover is that it’s not that bad, and if you’re at risk you’ll know you need to protect yourself.

No matter who has hurt or threatened you, you deserve a life where you feel safe and loved. Please take action to protect yourself and others. You are worth it.

If you’d like to learn more about Leonora, Justina recommends Isabella De Medici: The Glorious Life and Tragic End of a Renaissance Princess by Caroline P. Murphy and Inglorious Royal Marriages: A Demi-Millenium of Unholy Mismatrimony by Leslie Carroll. Madame Guillotine and The Raucous Royals also cover this fascinating historical case on their blogs.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline has a wealth of information that can be used for safety in an abusive relationship, leaving, and resources that can support you if you need it. There is advice on helping friends, teens, co-workers with safety planning, digital safety, and emotional well-being. More than anything it tells you how to be there for a loved on experiencing abuse.

And a final note with a happier subject matter: Shout out to performer Orville Peck who features a number of sex workers in his video for “Dead of Night” and shows us all how to be a classy gent when doing so. Check it out! It has a ‘bisexual cowboy in Twin Peaks’ vibe I really enjoy, and I haven’t been able to get the song out of my head since I heard it. Make that money, employees of the Chicken Ranch Nevada!




Heavy but important stuff this salon. Take care of yourself and those you love, my dears. 



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Episode Credits

Sound Engineering: Evan Meier

  • Intro Music: The King of Denmark’s Galliard, written by John Dowland and published in 1604 in Lachrimæ, or Seaven Teares. Performed by I Solipsisti. Provided by MusOpen. Sounds provided by ZapSplat and AmbientMixer.
  • Courtesan Theatre: Concerto for 2 Trumpets in C major, RV. 537 (Rondeau arr.) – I. Allegro, written by Antonio Vivaldi. Performed by Michel Rondeau. Provided by MusOpen. Mistress Nichols Almand, written by John Dowland and published in 1604 in Lachrimæ, or Seaven Teares. Performed by I Solipsisti. Provided by MusOpen.
  • Down a Dark Corridor: “Ghostly Procession-Alternate” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License. “Raven Caw” by KiddoFish86 via freesound.org. Sounds provided by ZapSplat and AmbientMixer. “Sir Henry Umpton’s Funeral”, written by John Dowland and published in 1604 in Lachrimæ, or Seaven Teares. Performed by I Solipsisti. Provided by MusOpen. “Creepy Church Bell” by Aeonemi via freesound.org.

Sounds provided by ZapSplat and “Fireplace” by inchadney via freesound.org.


Edited with Audacity.



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